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Winter Turns into Spring - The Blog
Mental Health and Physical Exercises
The Mental Health Awareness Week' s theme was "Move for your mental health." Social media platforms were drowning in posts and reels from the all main mental health charities and fitness gurus/ influencers, sharing the benefits of physical exercises on our mental health. This theme didn't take into account the many complexities of mental illnesses/ distress.
Of course it is great these individuals are sharing their experiences of recovery through exercises (whether it is running, hiking, yoga, Pilates, and more) All voices and life journeys matter.
It isn't so great when the messages turn into unsolicited advices, with an undertone of shaming: " Are you feeling depressed? Just go for a run, it will clear your head" Another popular message is :" If you are serious about recovering from your depression/ anxiety, you will make the effort to go out!" It is constantly forgotten: what helps one person might not help another - not because they are lazy but, because they can't. The famous "If I can do it, so can you." isn't accurate.
For instance: my daughter can and do run. She really enjoys it. It helps helps mentally. Meditation or yoga wouldn't be great for her as she feels restless a lot. As for me, I was born with a Muscular Dystrophy (Myopathy) and can't run. Walking is also limited. I love meditation. It brings me so much joy and it is an integral part of my self care/ love routine.
It isn't so great when the advices and encouragement are oftentimes, out of touch with many individuals who are struggling with mental illnesses/ distress or physical illnesses, or both. The two are linked. The theme wasn't inclusive. Researches shows that children who experienced stress or trauma, have more chances to suffer with M.E, Fibromyalgia, Arthritis - most inflammatory illnesses, baffling so many doctors, are emotional heavy weights, hurting the body. The emotional and mental load of having to constantly think of our every steps and daily plans, to manage pain and discomfort, is tiring to bodies and minds.
Most importantly, yes, exercises can help but, they aren't the magic cure they are described to be. In terms of mental health support, the last thing people need is to feel is pressured. Their emotional and physical health needs and ability have to be taken into account. The focus needs to be on what brings joy to someone. Unfortunately, it is the very nature of depression of losing the ability to enjoy life as it is. Suggesting exercises to someone in despair, is dismissing (if not insulting) of their experiences and suffering.
10 years ago, after overdosing on meds and spending a night in A&E, I was referred to and visited by the Home Treatment Team (HTT) The following evening, after I shared what happened with the visiting HTT worker, He asked if I had tried going for run or a walk? I couldn't believe he was asking me such a silly question. He didn't know how many walks I had, on sunny days, and still wanted to die! Because a bit of fresh air isn't a cure for a survivor of severe childhood abuse, suffering with CPTDS.
Talking with friends, they pointed out that, when we feel low, a sunny day can makes us feel worst, feeling bad for not being able to enjoy is at all. It can make us feel like we'd rather hide indoors. This resonated with me and I am sure it will for many.
What to do then, when someone you care about is in so much emotional/physical pain.it is robbing them of joy and of energy? Nothing. Oftentimes the best thing we can do is to sit and stay still with this person. It is to give them a loving, safe place and to offer an equally loving and supportive connection, where they can just BE.
Do what you can. Take gentle care of yourselves.
Sylvie
My book: The Blossoming Lotus
What is it Life Coaching? What isn't Life Coaching?
It is a
partnership between a Life Coach and a client.
The coach facilitates a safe space and creates a positive rapport in order for the client to identify the inner blocks to their goals, hindering their happiness. Life Coaching helps the client to identify their own goals, to find their own solutions and achieve personal growth and transformation.
Life Coaching isn’t therapy. Although we acknowledge most inner blocks have their roots in the client’s past, we don’t dwell deep on it (this is best done in a therapeutic setting), but, with the client’s permission, we can explore how the "Then and There" affects the "Here and Now", and how the client can move forward, with Self-Compassion.
If I feel a client could benefit from ongoing therapy, I will advise they do so.
My approach is trauma informed. What is trauma? What does "Trauma Informed" means and how does it fit in with Life Coaching?
Trauma is the impact any significant event that has a lasting adverse effect on an individual’s happiness and well-being. The earlier and the longer lasting the stressful event in an individual’s life, the deeper the debilitating effect on a person’s happiness and well-being are.
“Trauma-informed coaching happens when the coach understands what trauma is, how it presents in the coaching room and how to respond. All this, within established coaching boundaries and contracts.”
Julia Vaughan Smith –
Coaching and Trauma
I have personal and professional experience of trauma and have a real understanding of its impact on mind, body and spirit.
What is Self-Compassion?
Self-compassion is extending compassion to oneself in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering.
Dr Kristin Neff,
PhD, has pioneered and defines self-compassion as being composed of three main components –
mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness.
Self-compassion is facing our deepest fears, outdated self-beliefs and our perceived inadequacies with loving kindness towards oneself, by learning to take the time to acknowledge when we are hurting (Mindfulness) , by reminding ourselves how suffering is part of the our human experience and we all experience it (to some degree), we aren’t as alone as we think we are (common Humanity ) and, finally, by taking time to sooth and to love ourselves though our pain as we would with a dear friend of ours (Self-Kindness).
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How does Self-Compassion and Trauma Informed Coaching work?
Oftentimes, our deepest fears, outdated self-beliefs and perceived inadequacies, are the very things blocking us from creating a happy, fulfilled life, and building happy relationships, tailored to our needs and aspirations.
These blocks have roots in our past, whether we are aware of this or not, and will impact our thoughts, feeling and our behaviour as well as on how we perceive ourselves and the world around us. The more severe a past trauma, such as Child Sexual Abuse, the stronger the blocks, which are survival/ defence mechanisms created in childhood in order to survive extreme violence and neglect.
They are also natural responses to abuse and neglect,
when the child really has no one to turn to.
In Coaching, there is an opportunity for the client to explore how the past has an impact on the present and focus on what the client can achieve NOW by becoming their own best friend through anything life throws at them and by having compassion for what they have been through. I will provide the space, the support and some tools (such as reading materials, meditations practice etc...), when necessary, to support clients on their journey.
The coaching process will be led by the client. It will be tailored to the client’s needs, with the client’s approval.
The coaching will be most effective if the client is willing and ready to commit
100% to their journey of self-discovery and healing. During Trauma Informed and Self- Compassion based Life Coaching sessions, the client will learn to approach their biggest blocks and find their inner resources of loving kindness and compassion towards themselves.
Contact Me
Notice Board
Zoom or Teams
For those who would prefer to have their Life Coaching sessions, remotely, I use Zoom and Microsoft Team.
Venues for face-to-face sessions
TBC
Life Coaching sessions available from January 2023
My Fees
- 30 Minutes Skype/ Zoom or phone
assessment:
FREE
-
Full price
-
£80. (8 to 10 sessions
in total.)
-Concession prices: £60 (8 to 10 sessions in total.)
If you are experiencing financial hardship, such as unemployment or long-term disability, I offer limited places on concession fees. Please, contact me to discuss.
All payments via bank transfer.
